The Program
by Rizza Harley
Summary: [Hey. Frisk from SaniTale here. Don't ask, my timeline is a pretty new AU. Anyway, I've been tasked to do one of those Q and A things that had been floating around Fanfiction . net and Tumblr. And I have to say, they're pretty interesting. Thank god for CORE's extra rooms though. This party's gonna become crowded later. See ya! *click*] I don't own anything, except SaniTale. ARR.
1. Chapter 1 has new beginnings

It was just a regular day (or night, depending on where you are) in the household of SaniTale.

Which consisted of mainly Chara, Flowey, Sans, and OC!Frisk, occasionally Papyrus since he lived in the Omega timeline.

Chara and Flowey were playing another round of SmashBros, Sans was reading one of the many books in Frisk's library, and Frisk?

Frisk was just doing... whatever they were supposed to be doing on their laptop.

Then they noticed their mailbox had a new message.

"Huh... how many people has my email again? There was that UF!Sans, Death, um... there was... Oh forget it."

*Frisk gives up on guessing who sent them the mail. They just decides to check it out and be done with it.

It was from someone named Author.

Strange.

Then a particular thought wedged itself in Frisk's head.

"Hold on...isn't this our Author? Wonder what she wants..." Ignoring the blatant fourth wall breaking moment, Frisk proceeded to read the damn thing. They couldn't keep you readers waiting, after all.

Ciao, Frisk!

Er... did I catch you at a bad time? No? Well, if you're reading this, I guess you aren't busy at the moment.

But anyway, I wanted to ask you a favor, if that's alright with you.

I want you to start a Question and Answer Program for the fandom. I wanted to do this because...

Well, I just wanted to. Not much to say on the matter actually. I guess I was bored. Writer's block, and stuff.

And yeah, I'll pay you every... 10 questions. Probably.

Here are the rules: (since of course you'll accept anyway, I know you)

1- um... I guess no flames? I know this idea has been taken by a lot of others, but really. You don't have to point it out. I'm already a fan of TK's. I know hers is the most popular. I know. God. I won't ever compare to her. She's just amazing. But hopefully, as you can see, I'm taking a different approach to this. Okay?

2-Nothing too inappropriate, unless they're just dares to look at stuff (Undertail fans, I'm looking at you)

3- Go wild. Any ship goes. Seriously, my character's won't mind, and neither will I.

("No, no I won't. Than you for confirming that.")

4-Have fun!

That's about it, really.

Thanks again, Frisk!

-Author

"Hm... Question and Answer program, huh? Seems interesting." Frisk smirked.

"I wonder if CORE has any spare rooms available? I'll have to make a few calls. I know I need help. Speaking of help..." Frisk looked over to their companions.

"Hey guys, we have another request! And no, Sans, it is not some other random mission that I think of from time to time, and I'm 80% sure it won't end in a blood bath this time."

Showtime.


	2. Chapter 2 has preparations and flyers

" **wait, where does this go again?** " **Sans** asked Frisk. They looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Eh... I forgot..."

" **seriously? oh whatever i'll just put this up there.** " Using his magic, **Sans** lifted the banner up high and connected the strings to the wall with a few well struck bones that kept in in place.

Releasing the banner from magic, he and Frisk took a step back to admire his work.

The Program: Ask and we'll answer!

It was perfect.

" **so... where are these... questions?** " He asked Frisk once they gave him a nod of approval.

"Mu... I don't think there are any asks yet. It's not like loads of people will barge in and give us thousands of asks."

 **Sans** rolled his eyes.

" **yeah i knew that but not even one? seriously?** " Frisk tossed their phone at him, and helped Chara out with the tables and chairs strewn about in the room a CORE Frisk provided for them.

"See for yourself if you don't believe me."

Inbox: 0

You don't have any unanswered messages. Please wait patiently.

" **tibia honest, i really thought there'd be at least SOMEONE who'd give it a try.** " **Sans** said as he handed back their phone. Frisk shrugged.

"There are a lot of other people with this Question and Answer things, and since we're new, OBVIOUSLY we wouldn't get any just yet. I don't think my advertisements were effective, either."

 **Sans** looked worried. " **should i be worried whether you placed raw meat in each flyer?** "

Frisk looked blankly back at **Sans,** who shrugged in return.

" **you know you'd do it. don't try to lie, i can** ** _see right through you._** " His eye glowed as he said the pun.

"I didn't even deny it! I was going to say I wouldn't do it in these kind of cases. Those were only for pranks and pissing people off, moron." Frisk huffed and pouted.

"Anyway, I placed cassette tapes only, explaining this program further. That normal enough for you?"

" **kid, its about 2016 there. how are they going to find tape players for that?** " Frisk looked confused.

"They don't have those?"

" **no!** "

"But what about Author's radio? It had a player in it!" **Sans** shot Frisk an 'are-you-serious' look.

" **she told us it doesn't even open anymore, remember?** "

"..."

"Oh yeah...

" **oh god, you really are hopeless. then again you never had hope to begin with.** " [A/N: I has explanation for their OOC-ness. You just have to ask them!]

"Hey, what can I say? I take what comes to me with grace." They winked. **Sans** looked skeptical.

" **like that time with the stairs? yeah, real graceful.** " Frisk glared at **Sans** who grinned wider.

"Shut up."

 **Sans** looked at them. " **so what's the plan now, oh wise one?** "

Frisk grinned slyly.

"We break the fourth wall."

" **oh... wait what the ****?** "

Frisk ignored him as they turned to you.

"Heya, fellas! Do you have any questions that you would like to ask the Undertale characters? Well then here's your chance! Drop a review in that box below me and be the winner to a K*R V****la Gear! Exciting right?" Frisk held up two rings connected by a chain with a chibi lion on one ring up to your face.

"Nah, I'm only kidding, but seriously, I'm getting bored, so pretty please with sugar on top drop a review? Ask any Undertale character any question, then I'll bring them here to this room to answer that particular question! But we would have no reason to transport characters in this lovely room CORE set up for us if you don't give us a question, so do you mind doing it? Please?"

" **...kid's saying please... must be really desperate.** "

" **Sans** , not now." Said skeleton shrugged.

*The long rant Frisk had told you fills you with DETERMINATION to leave a question in the review section.


	3. Chapter 3 has the first question

Frisk was sulking in one corner.

 **Sans** looked like he wanted to tease them.

Flowey was smirking.

Chara was watching with a blank face, like always.

"...Really? Just... Really?" Was all Chara could say to the scene in front of them. They knew more than anyone else that Frisk could be childish, but this was a bit much.

Then again, who knew what to expect with Frisk?

Like that time -

No, nononono. DO NOT THINK OF THAT INCIDENT. IT _**NEVER** HAPPENED._

"Not even one... does no one not like our program? I behaved! I didn't cook up any schemes this time! ITS NOT FAAAIIIIR!" They whined. Flowey patted their back in sympathy while holding back their laughs.

Sans, who was still arranging the decor on one of the walls, looked like he was going to topple over from trying not to laugh.

Like Chara said, really?

*A wild CORE Frisk appears

"I am not wild, thank you very much." Said CORE, pouting. They shook their head and smiled.

"I just wanted to say there is exactly one question in the mailbox." They disappeared.

Hearing that, Frisk jumped up, knocking Flowey off their shoulder (who landed with a loud thump) and rushed towards the computer.

"THE CREATOR HAS SPOKEN! FINALLY! THANK YOU...PurpleLines? Okay yeah, PurpleLines."

 **Hi. So Sans, how many fish related puns can you make in 30 minutes? I'm doing this for a friend.**

 **-PurpleLines**

"... Which Sans do they mean? Oh well, I'll ask all of em! Or, a select few. Maybe." Frisk snapped their fingers. instantly, multiple Sans appeared. Outertale, Aftertale, Underfell, Underswap, Dancetale, Reapertale, Errortale (wait what no not him 'poof') Inktale (...nope 'poof' [A/N: I love both Ink and Error, but I don't think they would fit in here, sorry]) Storyshift/Unitale, Underfresh and many others.

 **Sans** , from our series, SaniTale, just looked at the now more crowded room in horror. " **w** **hat the fuck**." He told Frisk.

"Eh. Well, answer the question first, Sans!"

"HEY! COULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL US WHAT THE FRIGGING HELL IS GOING ON? Wait, Lunatic, that you? What in the -" UF!Sans was promptly hit in the head, knocking him out.

How?

 _Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagic._

Meanwhile, Frisk directed the confused Sanses towards the huge PowerPoint over to the right. "Answer that question honestly, and you get to go home. You first, **ST!Sans**!" Said **Sans** grumbled while pulling over his hood.

" **after what happened to us, I didn't really have my funny bone anymore. i'd say about 60 puns, maybe. i can't think of any right now, so leave me alone. it isn't that easy anymore.** " Frisk patted his back in sympathy. They turned to the other Sanses.

"So?" They were met with a lot of identical grins/smiles. Hey, Altertale was here, too.

They all said a number, all at once.

"Uhuh, yeah, got it... Okay! Chara, round it all up, please!" Most Sans tensed hearing that name. They hear a whistle, and turn to see that it is indeed Chara.

"Hm... about... 600 puns each skeleton, give or take. Good enough?"

A shrug.

"Its good enough. What about UnderSwap?"

"A whopping 40. Blue's kinda like Papyrus, in their world, right? Obviously he wouldn't be making a ton of puns."

"Alright then. Kay guys! Thanks a bunch!"

"Snow problem, kid!" Most of them replied, disappearing back to their world. Frisk turned to the audience.

"Well, PurpleLines, you had your question answered! Keep those coming, guys! We'd love to hear from you!"

 **Sans** suddenly popped up. " **looks like the author would like me to say something. lets see... ' _Hey, guys, the audience, I mean, could you send me a few asks or reviews? My story/Q and A series can't progress without you guys. Please, help em out here._ ' aaaannd that's all it says. but in all honesty i'd like to agree. it gets boring, so if the audience could maybe send in a question or even a review, it would be appreciated.**" He saluted.


	4. Chapter 4 has hugs and useless info

**Sans** stared off into the distance. Chara, who noticed this, caught his attention.

"Something catch your eye?"

 **Sans** nodded.

" **yeah...but i'm not quite sure what that cloud of dust is...** "

A stare.

"What cloud of dust?" **Sans** looked at them.

"You really don't see it?"

A glitch in the air went unnoticed by the two.

"No- oh wait yeah what is that?" Chara narrowed their eyes to get a better look.

" **beats me but-** "

Flowey cut **Sans** off. He was holding Frisk's phone.

"Uh... Frisk?"

"Yeah?"

"Watch-"

 _Crash!_

"-out..."

 **...I like this version of Frisk *tackles Frisk in a hug* They're so cute!**

 **Sorry to say, but I've never heard of Sanitale, what is it?**

 **Now then for every one in Sanitale, who is your favourite person from any AU?**

 **\- Rosie Vulpes**

 **Sans** and Chara both had blank looks on their faces as they saw a random girl, probably one of the reviewers, tackle Frisk down on the ground while glomping them.

"You're soooo cute!" **Sans** and Chara looked horrified. Frisk? Cute?

NO. Just...no.

They are a very manipulative bitch. One shouldn't take Frisk for granted.

 **Sans** took pity on the pour souls they've unintentionally and intentionally traumatized. Chara looked like they wanted to kill themselves.

Frisk mastered the 'WTF' look perfectly. Flowey looked really stiff and confused (don't ask, its something he has a habit of doing) as he handed the phone over to them.

They read the review. Their eyes widened, and after some struggling, then set Rosie beside them and pulled up another PowerPoint.

They cleared their throat.

"Ehem. I thank you for the compliment, Rosie. But my colleagues think otherwise, and they are perfectly justified to do so," Chara put her face into her palm. Not this phase again.

"And since you were so kind to give me that compliment, I shall tell you a brief summary on our AU."

"SaninTale is a fairly new and not so popular AU made by our Author, who usually goes by the name VisQel or Veronica. She made SaniTale a very... well, crazy one, in where I am a complete lunatic. I don't kill, but I'm not above hurting people either. I'm a neutralist, so to speak. I have very... peculiar 'mood swings', if you could even call them that, and drove **Sans** up the wall with my antics."

" **no surprise there, bud.** "

"Oh, hush. Originally, Chara was supposed to posses my body, but they too were driven up the wall with my various antics, the cherry on top being the time when I got them the body they are currently using."

"You just had to bring that up..."

"And then Error had to come along and destroy the timeline I was sent into. Note that I was previously an unnamed UT fan. And if you are worried about me being a Mary-sue, not to worry, I am weak strength-wise. I rely on the power I acquired very recently, the power of illusions. And of course the fact that I don't give a shit about who suffers, that alone suffices that I have a few bolts loose. And I know this. But am I going to do anything about it? Nope. Why should I when it brings so many interesting people into my life?"

Frisk then dramatically crossed their arms and had somehow made their coat, which everyone hadn't noticed they'd been wearing, flap in the non-existent wind.

*This dramatic pose wasn't anything important, so you briefly wonder why Frisk was doing it in the first place.

"Currently we all just laze about in our home, which is, in short, grand. I don't do humble."

"As for the reason the Author named our AU SaniTale? Well, SaniTale is just a sort-of nickname. It's original name was 'The tale where people and monsters alike question my sanity' or what was left of it anyway. It was supposed to be called UnderSanity, but she thought SaniTale was a better name."

Frisk closed the PowerPoint. They grinned and turned to Rosie. "Did that answer most of your questions? I admit, our AU is still being constructed, but its a start."

Rosie nodded and disappeared back to her own world.

" **...kid, one last question was left unanswered.** " Frisk's eyes widened.

"...Lets see it then."

 **...I like this version of Frisk *tackles Frisk in a hug* They're so cute!**

 **Sorry to say, but I've never heard of Sanitale, what is it?**

 **Now then for every one in Sanitale, who is your favourite person from any AU?**

 **\- Rosie Vulpes**

"Hm... Well, I'd say that my favorite would be Blue, from UnderSwap. Maybe Muffet, as well." Frisk turned to the others. "Well?"

" **uh... probably tori from altertale... i dunno.** "

"Really."

" **yea.** "

"Flowey? Do you have any character from any AU that you like?"

"UF Papyrus."

"... I think I know why. Chara?"

"Cter from DoubleTale."

Frisk looked skeptical. "Why not Character?"

Chara glared, so hard that Frisk had to take a step back.

If looks could kill, Chara would've managed to kill Sans on a genocide run before actually doing anything.

What did they do?

"Frisk. If I was still anything like I was back in the past, I would've picked Character."

"Anything like you were in the past- Oh. OH! Oh..."

"Yeah, 'oh'." Chara snorted, returning to their default blank look. Frisk blinked a few times.

"Well, I hope that answers what Rosie Vulpes wanted to know about us. Though I didn't expect anyone to question us so soon..."


	5. Chapter 5 has info, games, and new stuff

"Ugh..." Frisk groaned on the spare table, deflated. Chara watched as they continued to complain about what happened a few days ago.

"That wasn't supposed to be done like that! Why would he be so damn stupid?! It's so frustrating to get people to cooperate nowadays... all I wanted was a few pinches of information, and he has the gall to insult me? I'll make sure he doesn't survive in hell..."

Better make sure they don't do anything drastic, Chara thought.

"Really, Frisk?"

"Yes really! Would you let someone like that get away with something so juvenile? He called me a fraud, for pete's sake!"

"I wouldn't, but I also won't take it to the depths of hell. You know they have a lot of things to attend to, there are too many people with issues, and they're getting too crowded. Remember?

"I know..."

"So don't complain too much. Besides, PurpleLines gave us another question if I can recall. I think it was something about-"

Frisk didn't stick around Chara as they were explaining. Instead, Frisk dashed off to their laptop, leaving a dust cloud behind. **Sans** opened a door to the room and stared.

" **...do i want to know?** "

"Just the ususal."

" **ah. okay then.** " And he went back to his lab trying to figure out what perfect energy source could be used for that machine Frisk asked him to build. Man, the kid was working him down to the bone. He was sure to crack any moment due to pressure.

Off in the Omega Timeline, customers were startled when the chef and owner of the restaurant screeched.

"SAAAAAAANNNNSSSS!"

"Oh, howdy Frisk..." Flowey said as he continued the game on his computer, too focused to do anything else. Chara took a seat next to him as Frisk eagerly read the newest review from PurpleLines.

 **Hi I'm back! So Frisk how do your powers work? I imagine them being something like those of Scarlet Witch from Avengers 2. \\(?)/**

 **Also Flowey fave computer game?**

 **-PurpleLines**

"Eh? My powers?" Frisk walked to the table Chara and Flowey were at and took an extra seat, since, y'know, it wasn't that crowded. It would be crowded a bit later, but questions need to be answered.

"Hm... I don't know any movie of that name, but we did manage to escape from the Avengers! They were so fun to annoy, weren't they?"

"We barely managed to escape, Frisk. You were almost caught. And I'll admit, it was fun, even if we were considered fugitives..."

"And then that war between their members, right? Oh my god, it felt like a real movie! Who was that spider guy again? He looked so cool!"

"I think it was Spider Man."

"Yeah, yeah, Spider Man. Oh if only I had my camcorder... Oh, to answer that question, PurpleLines, no, my powers are entirely different. Though in the same category. Mind powers.

"My powers come in the form of illusion, and from what I saw? Hers was more of telekinesis than anything. I 'trick' the mind by making them think certain things. But I can't just rely on the illusion itself to make it work. I need to trick all five senses to make them 'true' illusions, so to speak.

"Like, if I wanted to make Chara think they were injured, I would have to make an imaginary gash across a body part of theirs, but also have the mind register pain so that they wouldn't notice it was fake. That's why most people, including me, can kill people or put them into a coma by illusions. The brain thinks they're hurt, so it activates a mechanism that acts like some sort of 'safe' mode. But really, who knows? That's what I've always thought of them..." Frisk finished their speeched and stretched a bit.

"Oh my god, that was the longest explanation I've ever done."

"Ehem."

"Er... well, not exactly... there was that case involving that framed innocent..."

"Seriously, I couldn't even understand half of what you were saying. I mean, I remember every word, but I can't figure out what it meant. You were lucky the judge even understood you."

Frisk chuckled.

"I seem to be the most lucky out of all of us, too. Not that it did me any good either..."

"Like the time when you wanted to get kidnapped but the kidnappers were always caught before you could be whisked away?"

Frisk banged their head on the table. "We are not to speak of that incident. It never happened."

"Of course."

Frisk pulled out their phone and read the next question.

"Flowey... what PC games do you like?"

Said flower paused his game and rose a very cartoonish looking eyebrow. "Game? Well... Warcraft, AQ, and DarkSouls. I mean, there aren't that many... but I am playing Minecraft right now. See?" Indeed, Flowey's Steve was in a world of blocks and more blocks.

"Its a pretty neat game to blow stuff up in."

"Of course." Frisk shook their head. They smiled at the audience, doing another fourth wall breaker. Ugh. Great. I forgot these people were wall breakers too. I have to deal with them alongside an anime shades wearing blonde. Ugh.

"Keep those reviews coming! Also, I wanna know, do you want us to make a truth or dare section, or a reaction section? Or both? Like, some characters react to stuff, the others do a few dares. Does that sound good? Thanks again for reading! The Author apologizes for the long wait, she's kinda hung up on other things... mainly Amino. Which reminds me, download the app, yo! It's a cool little trinket for obssessed fans like her or just geeks who don't use the usual social media and want to find some app that lets them make stuff for their fandoms. It's absolutely free! Download a few of 'em, and you won't regret it! See ya!"


End file.
